Emotional Transfer, Part 2: The Science of Intimacy
Because 1 just wasn't enough for this article. . .
In Part 1, I shared how a surprise article by Scopa et al. (2023) offered something rare: research language that finally mirrored what so many of us have felt—especially in equine-assisted work. That emotional transfer—the nervous system’s quiet conversation between beings—might not just accompany healing. It might be the thing that makes healing possible.
Now in Part 2, we’re going deeper. Let’s talk about attention, attunement, and the strange intimacy that happens when two nervous systems start to sync. Also: some wicked cool facts that might make you want to lie down in a field and question everything you thought you knew about connection.
When I say intimacy, I don’t mean romance—I mean the moment someone really sees you. The friend who can listen. The dog who tilts her head exactly when you’re about to start crying. The teenager who thinks everything you say is stupid and then hugs you when you least expect it. That’s the kind of intimacy I want to talk about. The kind that doesn’t always show up in words, but lives in the rhythm between people-and between horses and humans.
Attention as a Cue: Horses, Partners, and the Need to Be Seen
Scopa et al. reference research that shows horses can distinguish between different human attentional states. They don’t just notice if you’re physically present—they track whether you’re mentally present. And they respond accordingly.
I remember moments in the round pen where something would shift—when a horse kicked out about 7 inches from my head (okay, it was usually Octavia), and I knew I wasn’t really there. Not fully. The second I dropped back in, gave full-bodied attention, the interaction changed. We weren’t just working anymore. We were resonating. Survival is what forced me to kick back into gear. Presence was the result. Connection was what remained for next time.
The other day, a client shared their frustration with their partner, who has some attentional deficits when communicating. They’d start telling the partner about their day, and the partner would suddenly get distracted, "Oh, look at that!"—completely derailing the moment. It wasn’t the distraction that hurt. It was the meaning my client made of it: I’m not interesting. I’m not lovable. I don’t matter. The internal story
But what if, like a horse, we stopped telling stories about why we’re being ignored, and instead simply offered a different cue? What if we stayed focused on what we wanted—connection, presence—and didn’t get lost in the trauma-brain narrative?
Horses don’t abandon their needs. They recalibrate. Pause. Wait. Re-offer. What if that’s the most regulation-based, trauma-informed thing we could do in our relationships, too?
And I’m wondering, if we measure this in session, would we find that horses help us learn how? I am beyond curious.
When Brainwaves Begin to Sync
In their discussion of physiological coupling, Scopa et al. mention studies using EEGs to track brain activity in both humans and horses. They suggest that during emotionally connected moments, like grooming or quiet companionship, our brainwaves can begin to synchronize—a process called neural entrainment.
And here’s what really struck me:
The more intimate the activity, the more EEGs synchronized between horse and human.
The deeper the previous bond, the more tightly those brainwave patterns aligned.
Which brings us right back to the 1-2-3 framework from Part 1—the nature and quality of the interaction, the time invested, and the context. It turns out: the more you take your horse out to dinner (or, you know, grazing on the other side of the fence), the more likely your nervous systems are going to sync up.
It’s not mind-reading. It’s state-sharing.
Learned attunement. Imagine that.
What starts as standing beside each other becomes breathing together... and eventually, feeling together. Brainwaves match. Heart rates align. Emotional states co-regulate. This isn’t just mystical. It’s measurable. And it’s probably happening far more often than we realize in equine-assisted settings. Much more than first dates from Bumble.
Imagine what this means for research using tools like the Muse headband. Imagine being able to see when that moment of resonance happens—when two beings drop into shared presence. That’s the science of intimacy.
Some Wild & Wonderful Facts from the Article:
Horses seem to prefer more physical contact in their bonds with humans than they do with dogs or cats. So yes, your clingy gelding is biologically justified.
In mutual grooming, the groomer—not just the one being groomed—experiences a drop in heart rate. The giving is calming.
Emotional intelligence is linked to social adaptability, and the authors propose that horses demonstrate this by either resonating with or subtly adjusting their emotional state to match the humans they’re bonded with. That’s a whole new level of empathy. Possibly even compassion? A brainwave might help us tell the difference!
And here’s one that especially resonated with me: horses may actually pick up olfactory signals—scents that reflect how a human is feeling—and adjust their own emotional state accordingly. This could explain why some clients struggling with trust or engagement get mixed responses from horses. It’s not that the horse doesn’t want to connect; it may simply be that the human is broadcasting mixed emotional signals. The horse is reading the “yes/no/maybe” of nervous system ambivalence—often before the client even consciously knows it themselves.
Pre-Data: Mapping the Possibilities
We haven’t started yet. But I’m already lit up by the possibilities.
As we prepare to bring Muse headbands into our equine sessions, I’m imagining what might become visible—what we’ve always felt in the field, now translated into brainwaves.
Muse gives real-time feedback on human brain activity. That means we might be able to see when someone’s nervous system shifts into a more regulated state—those moments when a client moves from stress to calm, from scattered to present, and when presence becomes mutual. The moments you feel in your bones, watching the connection, the emotional resonance, in real time. Now we can hopefully project them onto the data screen
Here’s what I hope we’ll see (I’m still learning here):
A shift from high-alert beta to relaxed, open alpha states
Moments of shared attention between human and horse that deepen regulation
And maybe eventually… signs of resonance across two nervous systems
The literature already tells us emotional transfer is powerful. Muse might help us show how it happens. Not just in theory- but in real time.
This is where the science could start syncing with the soul work.
And maybe, just maybe, the data won’t flatten the magic. It’ll amplify it.
Of course, that opens the next big question:
What could we actually learn by using Muse to study the brainwaves of the humans here—and how might we eventually study the horses’ brainwaves, too?
We’re only at the edge of this. But I see a path:
Muse could help us track attention, regulation, and emotional presence in clients. If we eventually combine that with equine-friendly sensors ( I have one lead already!), capturing heart rate variability, respiration, or even EEG- we might be able to map the dance of co-regulation between horse and human in real time.
That wouldn’t just give us data.
It could give us a new language for what’s always lived between the lines.
A bridge between the poetic and the provable.
This isn't just about horses. It's about all of us. How we read each other. How we try again. How we show up in the face of distraction, disconnection, and unspoken needs.
Sometimes the most radical thing we can do is stay with the cue. To remember what we’re really asking for, and to offer it again- without shame, without a story, and without abandoning ourselves.
That’s what horses are teaching me.
That’s what I think we’re ready to measure.
And that’s where the real science begins.